Aesthetics

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Shyari TIME(***** good, **** poor,*** very poor, ** very very poor)

 EK NAZM


Chaant gayi hain dhundh saari ,bas dhuaan sa rha gaya,
Khakasho ki bheed main main bejubaan sa rha gaya.
Raat ka pahra hain aur yun hawa ka shor hain,
Guunjti tanhaaion main ek nishaan sa rha gaya,
Gum hua hain dard sara ,gumshuda hain chain bhi,
Hosh ka hain ilm mujhko bas kuch nasha sa rha gaya,
Dil hua kafir mera to raaston se dosti ki,
Saath main apna he saaya rhanumman sa rha gaya,
Dhul gaye hain lafz saare kaanpte hotho se aise,
Naam mera un labo pe ahde-wafa sa rha gaya,
Saj gaya hain shaamiyna, ho visaale yaar ab,
Pighli hui is shaam main ek falsafa sa rha gaya,
Aaj bhi hain ishq hone ka gumman naa jaane kyon,
Dafn hain sab khawishe , ek silsila sa rha gaya,
Dhhondta hoon tujh ko kudh main, kya meri deewangi hain,
Aaine main bas tera ek aks jaisa rha gaya.
Chaant gayi hain dhundh saari , bas dhua sa rha gaya,
Khakasho ki bheed main main bejubaan sa rha gaya.



Chand Sher......                    


"Teri aankhon  main samandar bana raha hoon main..
Kyon toffaaan main kashti chala raha hoon main..
Kis kawayad main uljha pada hain dil mera…
Jaane Kyon reit ke mahal bana raha hoon main.."


 "Maussame-e-gam ki chaon dhoop main chalte rahe.
parwaane ki tarah shab main yun pighalte rahe.
Mohabbat na sahi, naftatain-nazar he hasil ho,
Yahi soch kar teri mahfil se gujarte rahe..
Muqqaddar mera he kuch aisa tha shyaad,
Ke paa kar bhi tuje paane ke liye larjte rahe.."


"Neend aaye to khayalo main ulajh jaatain hain..
Hum is kadar tere sawallon main ulajh  jaatain hain..
Ke arsh par bikhre hain moti aur falak par chandni ka hain pahra,
Rokte hain bahut dil ki phir bhi teri baaton main ulajh jaatain hain"


                                      "Muddat hui yun sawaalo main ulajha raha hoon main..
                                     Parwaana-e-shama ki tarah rafta rafta jal raha hoon main..
                                          Waadon ka na sile de e dil ko dukhane waalee.
                                        Rakhibo ka nahi kauf , dosto se dar raha hoon main.."









                                      "Kagaz pe padi dhool ko kuch is tarah uda diya usne ..
                                            Ek bejubaan se lafz ko falsafa bana diya usne..
                                   Main to pathar ho chukka hoon is kahkanshe-mahfil main..
                                           Chu ke mujh ko pyar se sona bana diya usne.. "


 "Tere aankho se kuch bighe khawab chura lenge..
Teri aawaaz ko hum parwaaz bana lenge..
Na chalakne dena ye moti apne ruksharo par..
Teri palko ko chum kar aaftaab bana denge.."

 


 "NAA DEKHO IS KADAR MERI AANKHO MAIN YUN SARGOSHI SE..
NAA JAANE KAB KAUN TAMANNA MACHAL JAAYEGI..
WO EK SHABNAMI KHAWAB THA ,JO MERI PALOKO KO CHU KAR NIKAL GAYA.
US KHAWAB KI TASSIIR AB TAK MERI LABO PAR THARI HAIN...
USKI PARWAAZ KE SAAHARE TERI ARZOON MAIN FAANNA HO RAHA HOON..
GUMMAN HO RAHA HAIN TERE WAZOOD KA MUJHE IS KADAR..
KE KHAWAB BHI HAQUEEKAT SE LAGNE LAGE HAIN..”"


"FOR ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OUT THER THIS IS THE SONG OF THE VIKAS"


Shabnami Phoolon ke ark main naha kar,
Wo nikale hain ghar se yun palake jhuka kar
Atkheliyan karte hain ye kafir hawa ke jhonke,
Na nikala karo tum yun julfe gira kar.
Didaar-e-hasrat main dewaana ban gaa hoon,
Teri aankhon ka main paimanaa ban gaya hoon.
Bas yahi iltzaa hain meri e sitamgar tujhse .
raakh kar de mujhe ab ye bijli gira kar.
Ranj hota hain us arsh se jo tere kadam chumti hain.
Kush hoon main teri chaat main zarra ban kar.
Awaargi ki imtahaan se kuch yun gujar raha hoon,
tere liye hain Makhol main har pal mar raha hoon.
Rohe bejaar ko karar aa jayye,
Jo dekho ek baar haya ka parda gira kar.


 THE LIFE

MORNING

 On start of your day, you feel sun’s warmth,

A gust of wind wakes you up; you walk on the floor,

Few streaks of smile engraved on your face,

You stand up on the terrace with steaming grace,

This cryptic pleasure seems impossible to be traced,

Future is on now the past is erased,

The hands of clock shows time but nothing,

Yesterdays’ episode reminds you of something,

You purse your lips to taste the vestiges of the dreams,

But you can no more hear that ephemeral scream,

Your reasons mocks at you for being so inane,

You have become insolvent and have nothing to claim,

Still there is something that you can’t be stripped off,

The dew on the leaves, sun rays on the mountain,

Impression of the wind, converging flow of the fountain,

The clouds playing in the azure sky,

The fleet of vulture flying in the sky,

Chirping of birds, noise of the pollution,

The sound of the silence, the drift of the joy,

Clemency of sun, brilliancy of light,

No one take away from you all these delights,

You are volitional; you must make a choice,

Either to repent for the anonymous or to rejoice,

 

DAY

 

Having these thoughts in mind you stop for a while,

Is this your self which is all set to beguile,

Is this a nightmare which has got invidious motives?

Or is this make –belief, a deceiving motif,

You feel so perplexed intrigued by the oblivion,

Or is this fate being Machiavellian,

You muster your courage take leap out of fear,

Get off the thoughts, which are ignorance-smeared

All of a sudden everything turns in to rote,

Now the soul aim of the life is finding an antidote,

Eluded by the vision and deluded by the self,

You try to abscond from the self-made hell,

There is a fine line between illusion and reality,

But the doubts are hovering, accentuating your fragility,

The edge is sharp you can’t walk more,

You never had this pain ever before,

Still walking, though know the culmination,

Got tired of this chronic prevarication,

The tricks of mind nothing but a drivel,

Watching your face you look so shriveled,

This is something you can’t help or change,

Only see the play of mentally deranged,

Hoping for the better, becoming an intuitive fool,

The life unwinds from the eternal spool,

 

 

NIGHT

All of a sudden you feel an aquatic pressure,

This tidal agitation that you can’t measure,

Nothing has changed, nothing has transpired,

Your face has a tinge inevitable desired,

The shade of joy, the nuance of the night,

The continual shine of the moon,

The intermittent sheen of the night,

Containing and absorbing all the day long anguishes,

The night seems to be very generous, holding no grudges,

You feel relaxed though you are transfixed,

Smiling gleefully obfuscating the jinx,

The life is a giver it takes not more,

But when you realize this fact you enjoy no more,

So hold your breathe and catch the moment going by,

Close it tight fisted so no one can steal it from you,

Place it in your heart where nobody can find it,

It will vanish all of your sorrows and fears,

No more excised by the rolling tears,

Though this dilemma is there, I am still alive,

Life is a game you are not alone,

it gives so much and takes no more...


 THE LIFE

MORNING

 On start of your day, you feel sun’s warmth,

A gust of wind wakes you up; you walk on the floor,

Few streaks of smile engraved on your face,

You stand up on the terrace with steaming grace,

This cryptic pleasure seems impossible to be traced,

Future is on now the past is erased,

The hands of clock shows time but nothing,

Yesterdays’ episode reminds you of something,

You purse your lips to taste the vestiges of the dreams,

But you can no more hear that ephemeral scream,

Your reasons mocks at you for being so inane,

You have become insolvent and have nothing to claim,

Still there is something that you can’t be stripped off,

The dew on the leaves, sun rays on the mountain,

Impression of the wind, converging flow of the fountain,

The clouds playing in the azure sky,

The fleet of vulture flying in the sky,

Chirping of birds, noise of the pollution,

The sound of the silence, the drift of the joy,

Clemency of sun, brilliancy of light,

No one take away from you all these delights,

You are volitional; you must make a choice,

Either to repent for the anonymous or to rejoice,

 

DAY

 

Having these thoughts in mind you stop for a while,

Is this your self which is all set to beguile,

Is this a nightmare which has got invidious motives?

Or is this make –belief, a deceiving motif,

You feel so perplexed intrigued by the oblivion,

Or is this fate being Machiavellian,

You muster your courage take leap out of fear,

Get off the thoughts, which are ignorance-smeared

All of a sudden everything turns in to rote,

Now the soul aim of the life is finding an antidote,

Eluded by the vision and deluded by the self,

You try to abscond from the self-made hell,

There is a fine line between illusion and reality,

But the doubts are hovering, accentuating your fragility,

The edge is sharp you can’t walk more,

You never had this pain ever before,

Still walking, though know the culmination,

Got tired of this chronic prevarication,

The tricks of mind nothing but a drivel,

Watching your face you look so shriveled,

This is something you can’t help or change,

Only see the play of mentally deranged,

Hoping for the better, becoming an intuitive fool,

The life unwinds from the eternal spool,

 

 

NIGHT

All of a sudden you feel an aquatic pressure,

This tidal agitation that you can’t measure,

Nothing has changed, nothing has transpired,

Your face has a tinge inevitable desired,

The shade of joy, the nuance of the night,

The continual shine of the moon,

The intermittent sheen of the night,

Containing and absorbing all the day long anguishes,

The night seems to be very generous, holding no grudges,

You feel relaxed though you are transfixed,

Smiling gleefully obfuscating the jinx,

The life is a giver it takes not more,

But when you realize this fact you enjoy no more,

So hold your breathe and catch the moment going by,

Close it tight fisted so no one can steal it from you,

Place it in your heart where nobody can find it,

It will vanish all of your sorrows and fears,

No more excised by the rolling tears,

Though this dilemma is there, I am still alive,

Life is a game you are not alone,

it gives so much and takes no more...





MAIN AUR MERI SOCH 

Naa jaane main kya sochta hoon, kyon sochta hoon aur sochne ki baat hain ke sochta bhi kyon hoon.

Isis ahasaas se  rooh main ek sirhan si daud gayi, shabnami boondo ne palako se khawab chura liye,

Ye kahauf tha ya ek nai kasmkash ka aazaaz , jaane  kis gumaan main beparwaah ho chala tha main

Raaste se aanzaan aur manzilo ka to nishaan he nahi , bas ek teri yaad thi jo rhanuma ban gayi,

Hootho par kuch kaapnte lafz the jo sard hawa ki zumbish main dam thod chuke the,

Peshaani par padi kuch pasine ki boonde mujhse jaane anaajne main kuch kha gayi,

Laga mujhko aisa jaise dhadkano ke saare raaj khol gayi,,,

Main tahra , kuch palo ko aapne daaman main sameta aur kuch sooch kar phir yahi sawal kiya,

Naa jaane main kya sochta hoon, kyon sochta hoon aur sochne ki baat hain ke sochta bhi kyon hoon

BARSAAT 

Hua maut ka kauf is kadar mujhe ke jeena he chod diya..
Tune aaknkho se kuch pilaayi aise ke pina he chod diya..
Is nasheman main tamasbeen hain beinthaa.
Chot khhate rahe, zakhm sina he chod diya..

Muddat hui aanho se paani nahi barasa,
Main kabhi yun saawan ke liye nahi tarsa,
Mhobbat ka nasha kuch yun had se gujar gaya,
Ke saaki ye maikhana ye mahfil ye junnon he chood diya.. 


ETERNAL SEARCH 

In every word of yours, in every search of yours,
In the sky so vast, in the clouds so dark..
In the flowing stream, in your shout and scream,
I am everywhere…Go get find me….
I am everywhere…Go get find me….

The night is felling now.
Scaring me to the core.
Draining from my veins.
This love I always hold…

In the smile in your eyes,
In the deep blue skies,
In the dew on your lips,
In reverberating chirps
I am everywhere…Go get find me….
I am everywhere…Go get find me….

I am talking to myself,
Staring at my soul…
How do I atone for the sins?
Which I did not perform…

In the smell of soil, in the every choir,
In the blowing breeze, in laws I infringe.
Your dos and don't, deceits and flaunts,
In the truth of life, in the chime of lies,
I am everywhere…Go get find me….
I am everywhere…Go get find me….

I am awaken.
You can't betray me anymore.
I am awaken,
You can't blindfold me anymore.
I am awaken,
I am not a sophomore,
I am awaken.

The sun has risen, giving me the light,
The things are clear, seeming so bright,
I have learned to live, with this divine mist,
So eternally living for my …………..being…

 


MATRIX

When you are alone in the starlit night, you watch your shadow looming over the surface,
Your veins are pounding with terrific awe and you can not survive through the night,
Taking a deep breath cost you so much that your conscience denies to live anymore,
You think for sometime, you are halted then go back again to gain something unknown.
Overcoming the anonymous fear of loosing your vanity to the inveterate liar inside you,
This chronic hesitation has lambasted all of your desire and dreams, worth presuming,
Still you thrive to be well, leaving all the assumptions aside, convincing yourself of some fallacy,
And close all the doors to the reason thinking that your will get a reprieve soon,
But the time drifts like sand from your hands, leaving you stupefied and frozen,
The wind's chill touches you and you are crippled viscerally, throwing tantrums,
You walk on the floor following the light, hoping for some truce of mind and soul,
This vacuum has seized your senses; hollowness inside you, you are nonplussed
You are frightened of nothingness, mocking at the ignorance, deep inside you,
You lumber slowly apprehended by an inane fear of being haunted by your desire,
Now you stop, muster yourself, try to look at the divine light; when all else have failed,
You give it a thought, using your wrought reason, dangling between truths and false,
Now you realize what all you had been doing was nothing but iniquitous task,
This time you set your mind, drowning in to the elixir of blissful joy coming out of the fix,
Eventually you managed to come out from this sophisticated matrix





IMPRINT

Embossed on My heart these words so bright,
Nauseated by the facts hovering on my mind,
Salvaged Love has crashed and burned,
All I left with is the crimson Love,

Eyes are swollen from so much sleep,
Inexorable awe has started to creep,
I am so much inured of this hallucination,
Waiting for my time, perfect culmination.

The hands of clock have gone apart,
Time is hapless unable to thwart-this-
Prevarication, agitation, stupefaction, suffocation,
Haunted by my own desires I find myself-,
Emaciated, aggravated, decimated, obliterated,

Saving myself from the infernal fear,
No more drowned in the rolling tears,
Her garish face seems to deceive no more,
Overcoming this temptation camouflaged at the core

The ends of the cord seem to meet again.
Eventually this gambit will have no more gain.
My words are true, am not going insane,
Blemished by the lie, somewhat inane.

This time when I feel myself captivated,
Shackled by the mystic haze but frowning no more
Love for her has sublimated- in to unknown
All screams, eventually have degenerated in to a moan.

Scavenging the obscure feelings,
Helping the self to break through glass ceiling,
Meaning is lost as the lexis being perverted,
My conscience from all this chaos is not averted.


Amnesia

When you wake up in the morning,
You find a new world altogether,
Watch is same but the time has changed,
All dreams have gone only traces remained,

This naïve feeling titillates your body,
You feel the chillness of the wind, though numb,
The sun is ensconced in the sky with bizarre serenity,
Vanishing all the vestiges of yesterday,

All events from your mind have been effaced,
And you laugh as if you were an infant,
You love this trivia and you thrive to be there,
But when you think for a while you are no more there,

You move at an unprecedented pace,
As if you were vying with yourself in the race,
The destiny of yours is predefined,
You head towards the truth sublime,

You feel fresh, invigorated as if all the piety-
All the sorrows- all the deficiencies
Have been stripped off, Nothing is there
To haunt you or to settle score with you,

This feeling of nirvana chagrins you for a while,
When you open your eyes, seeing light divine,
The sun glimmers behind the veteran trees,
Conferring it rays on you with utmost glee,

No imprint of the past is there on your heart and soul,
You are embossed only with cheerful glow,
All anxiety in you seems to have been upbraided,
No need to recollect the thoughts, which seem to have faded.

Your will is free you’ve got all you sought,
With evangelical grimace you scream and shout,
You are still alive you are not defaced,
You live your life with memories erased



  “Dilemma” (when I was in CCD)



  “Dilemma” (when I was in CCD)

Drowned in the realm of acute numbness,
Ever engrossing stupor has crippled me,
Heart is suffused with sapphire mist,
And words have become inexplicable,

Being conscious of this pleasure though,
I experience a visceral pain although,
The pleasure I can not enjoy,
And the pain for which I don’t have a choice,

A bleak ray of hope is still shimmering,
Somewhere in the nether of my heart,
I start cursing my complacency,
And these invectives of mine echoing all around,

Taking a halt I rummage for something,
Lingering in my heart since so long,
I am trapped in a rational whim,
Flying high as if I were intoxicated,

This dizziness does not seem to last long,
Relieving me from this venomous nightmare,
Somebody looms over my own shadow,
Igniting myself with his divine glare,

I feel contended I feel rejoiced,
When I find irony in my choice,
I enjoy being –
As incredulous as a damsel
As innocent as an infant
As cherubic as a fairy
As impecunious as a mendicant
And as perfect as imperfection

I cherish this delighting chaos,
Created by my own mind, enjoying the contradiction,
The body-soul do not seem to come to terms with me,
This ever consuming smugness eventually enraptured me.

The sound of silence 

The sound of fear tapping on the glass surface could be heard and the vibrations on the surface seemed to have come from the tribulations of the heart which was provoking nerves to express this anxiety , though it was rhythmic, there was an embryonic disorder, utterly proliferated by some uneasiness not identified by any standard of cognition, not fathomed by any means of technological breakthrough, nevertheless this serene environment with the vestiges of devastation seemed to have enthused with an enigmatic fragrance, the fragrance of self devastation, sublimation of one’s self to an utter and infallible reality with some traces of lie ,self-deceit and on the contrary self-preservation multiplied by the deprivation of mind and ramification of vicissitudes of life undulated by any human gesture, un-agitated by any divine intervention flowing to the end having subliminal consciousness merging in to an uncanny concoction made of human fallacies and delusions blindfolding him and confiscated all his capacities to understand the quirks of mind and treachery of soul


 WHAT IF

What If you don’t remember me?
I have befriended your memories,
What if you have ceased to speak to me?
I have learned to understand the silence,
The silence which does not have words only faces,
The silence which can not be described, only experienced,
The silence which drips down from your heart like a scathed wound,
The silence having no wings to fly only everlasting reprieve,
What if you have seized my vision?
I have learned to see you with eyes closed,
Drowning in to the eternal bliss, enslaving me to the core,
My eyes have been petrified in search of your dream?
What if they have stopped blinking?
What if you have stolen all my dreams?
I am delighted being in a nightmare,
What if you don’t wait for me anymore?
I have become inured of this endless sojourn,
What if you don’t love me?
I have learned to love you inadvertently,
What if you don’t care for me?
I have convinced myself of being repudiated,
What if you don’t shout and scream,
I have captured your echoes in my heart,
An echo coming from nowhere impregnating my soul,
What if you don’t caress me?
I have learned to be stoical,
What if you have denied my company?
I am still following your shadow,
What if you don’t call my name?
I am happy being anonymous.

Baat Nikalegi To…

Baat Nikalegi to phir door talak jaayegi,
Log bewajha uddasi ka sabab poochenge,
Ye bhi poochenge ke tum itne pareshaan kyon ho,
Ungaliyan utthegi sukhe hue baalo ki taraf,
Ek nazar dekhenge gujre hue saalo ki taraf,
Chudiyon par bhi kai tanj(witticism) kase jaayenge,
Kaanpte hotho pe bhi fikre(comment) kase jaayenge,
Log zaalim hain hare ek baat ka taana denge,
Baato baato main mera zikra bhi le aayenge,
Unki baton ka zara sa bhi asar mat lena
Varna chere ke tasur se samajh jaayenge,
Chaae kuch bhi ho sawalaat na karma unse,
Mere bare main koi baat naa karma unse..
Baat Nikalegi to phir door talak jaayegi,

 Pukar

“Wo hue mashroof itne ke ab haqqeqat bhi ek dhoka sa lagta hain,
Maine palko se banaya tha jo aashiyna wo bhi chota lagta hain,
Agar allfaaz de chuke the jubaan, to nazar se kaam liya hota,
Nazar hamaari kamzard nahi e dost, ye chere padh sakti hain…”

“hatheli par tararsha hua tera naam dekh kar, saham jaata hoon,
Ittfaaq rakhata hain ye dil kudh se, phir bhi bahak jaata hoon,
Us rabt ki chaat main ,bikhre pane palattha rhata hoon,
Jaasbaat-e-asshar  jo ab thume besaabab sa lagta hain,”

Palako ki shikyat kari thi shyad meri aankhon ne mujh se,
Shyad kuch khawaab mere zahan se churaye gaye the,
Wo khawab jo meri peshani ko chumte hue hotho par dafn ho gaye,
Ye sab silsila aaz thume ek falsafa sa lagata hain,”

AANSOON
Main shyaad aansoon banna chatha hoon, aansoon he to..
Uske kajal ne aankhon ko apne aagosh main liya aise ,
Gahre kale baddalo ne jaise chaand ko apni giraft main kaid kar liya ho,
Wo aankhen hain ya mai ki do payaliyan jo barbas chalakti rahti hain,
Aur un ashqo ki chuan rukshaaro par aise lagti hain maanooo ,
Kisi naddan ki chuan se ek massom gulab kudh par Itra raha ho,
Larjte hotho se jab kaapnte alfaaz nikalte hain to dil ki kyari main Lage phool,
khil uthte hain , jaise unki rooh main ek shabnami siharan(sensation) daud gayi ho,
Khaamosh lab aapas main aise athkeheliyan karte hain jaise ,
Mausam ke pahli baarish main bhigi do kaliyan shararat kar rahi ho,
Aankhoon par gire palko ke parde ,shaam ke sukun ko apne daaman main simete hue hain aur ye aansoon,
Apni masshoque ke intzaar main diye ki lau ki tarah rafta rafta jal rahe hain aur uska ek ek katra,
Rukshaaro par kalabaaziyan lete hue farsh par anzaam paa raha hain.
Ye aansoon jo apni jhilmilahaat se suraj ke gurror ko rasq de rahe hain,
Aur ye moti sarikhe ashq jo farsh par bikhre hain shaam  aane par,
Arsh ke sitarron main sama jaayenge or shab bhar timtimate rahenge,
 Is tarah har lamha tujhe mere vazood ka ahsaas dilate rahenge,
Raat ko yahi aansoon phir se khwaaab ban kar thumari palko  ki khidkiyon se,
Dil ke darwaaze par dastak denge , vasl ki justju liye, bezzaar sisakte aansson,
Tum apni palke band kar lena aur shor naa karma, ye bahut  kamsin hain,
Bade sharmile aur nazuk hain, chu dogi to maile ho jaayenge,
Bas band aankhon main unhe panah de dena,
Shyad ek aansoon ki yahi zindgaani hain,
Haan main shyad aansoon banna chata hoon aansson he to..


She ,Her ,herself

When she looks in to my eyes,
I feel hypnotized, shackled, enticed,
Airs of superiority is reflected from her gait,
She speaks thousands of words through silence,
Laughing as cherubically as an infant,
Playing in the garden as if a fairy,
With dark kohl eyes she outshine the glare itself,
Queen with a grace with charming grimace,
She speaks as if she wants to unravel mystique secrets,
She belies the ethereality of time,
As time stops by to look at her,
She looked as composed as a child,
Sleeping over the bed of sky having clouds as pillow,
Pearl like fragrance disseminates from her body,
All of a sudden she takes pause
As if the hands of clock have stopped,
As if it the time has ceased to travel,
As if it were a lull before storm,
The storm that will bedraggle you to the core,
Creeping through your veins her intoxication is ever mesmerizing,
The soft velvet wind seems to have talked to her in its own dialect
Carrying herself in a dignified manner,
Exhausting the exertion, beguiling the lethargy,
Captivating the entire universe and making it drown in to her
Ocean like personality, having nuances of love, care, intelligence,
Sometimes violent, sometimes composed,
Devoid of all impiety and sanctified with the best rituals,
Constituting the best elements,
 That could have been devised to erect a flawless immaculate edifice,

20 July 2006

Mai-kashhe main teri  kuch is kadar khoyee,
Shab(shaam) bhar taare gine aur sahar(morning) bhar soye,
Haayete-e-ishq( pyar bhari life) main ghaafil(careless) hua yun dil mera,
Hanse bhi bepahan aur goshaa(corner) main chupchaap roye,

Ishq main tere hum besuoor  hue jaate hain,
Din ko raat aur raat ko din kahe jaatain hain,
Dewwangi ka junon yun toofaan ban chukka hain,
Aankhon main band bas teri tasveer liye jaatain hain,

Shab bahr teri aarzooo main tadpa hain dil mera,
Raat ko bhi teri yaadoon ne bahut sataya hain,
Na jaane kitni dafha ustwaar(firm) hua ye dil mera,
Naa gujrenge ab kabhi tere dariche(window) se,
Phir bhi ek jhalak ke liye,  bemuraabat teri,
Dile-e-nadaan bezaar hua jaata hain,
 aur tez tere ishq ka khummar hua jaata hain,
Ye mai-kashee ka nasha meri rooh main shumaar hua jaata hain..

RAIN
It did not rain even today
I‘ve been staring at the sky since morning,
All sultry thoughts were screaming for expiation,
The sun parched leaves have succumbed-
To the tanning, glimmering sun shine,
No drop of water elicited from the clouds,
My eyes are petrified searching solace,
It did not rain even today,
 
I woke up early from a sweet dream,
Thinking of the cooling shower of joy,
The sweetness of dream still lingers on my mind,
I was all set to expurgate all impiety and get drowned,
But all hopes decimated, all prayers remained unheard,
It did not even rain today,
 
Am I a cynic, flaunting for the un-possessed,
Am I malingerer boasting of undone,
Am I naïve, too incredulous to be in love?
Or am I damsel to soft too be touched?
I was rubbing my eyes to sift the reality,
I was twitching my mind to explore my fragility,
The thinking does not end and only –
One thought eventually where it lands
It did not rain even today,
 
The dry words seek reprieve from heat,
They want to melt down and flow,
The breeze is devoid of mist only dust prevailed,
The roses have burned only smoke they entailed,
But I am a dreamer; I won’t loose the hope,
I’ll catch the rain though it has eloped.
 
I felt the splash in her footstep,
I found the unspeakable gleam in her eyes,
I got bewitched by her chill,
I was completely lost in her delight,
I am no more alive, I have sublimated,
Though it did not rain today, I have recuperated,
From everything which made my life at staked,
 
Now I feel bedraggled and again rise from my ashes,
Life is now all fun no fallacies,
All dreams no reality,
All power no imbecility,
All love no jealousy.
Now everything has changed though nothing seemed to be,
Because the changed has passed.

Awaaz 

Haan ye hum hain jo awwaaz diye jaatain hain,

Har lamha zindagi ka ahsaan liye jaatain hain,

Ban ke jo nashtar cheer de is Zigar ko,

har pal meri nazare dhoonde teri nazar ko,

Jo dil main utar jaaye us shaam ki taadap main,

Har subha se usi ka intazaar kiye jaatain hain,

Haan ye hum hain jo awwaaz diye jaatain hain,

Har lamha zindagi ka ahsaan liye jaatain hain,

Tere ishq ke aalam main dewwana ban chukka hoon,

Jo lafz tha kabhi main, afsaana ban chukka hoon,

Jo dhoop se baachaye us chaaon ki tadap main,

Har pal tere aanchal ka khawwab liye jaatain hain,

Haan ye hum hain jo awwaaz diye jaatain hain,

Har lamha zindagi ka ahsaan liye jaatain hain,



STATE OF MIND

The walls of the enclosure were sucking me , their claws were all set to pounce upon me and I was helpless spectator of my own destruction which I had devised a long way back unconsciously with out having the slightest idea that it would become hydra-headed some day and burn me to ashes, beautiful enough the plots of mind and enigmatic enough the gambits of self, however the beauty lied in the fact that in both the cases I was presaged to convulse in to a nondescript atomic matrix composed of some finite quarks of life and , blighted by some blinding sheen of quanta’s. I lighted my cigarette as if I were trying to exorcise some evil through these murky and lethal subdued flames of my cigar. The smoldering tobacco seemed to have audacity to get burned for some purpose, no matter the ethicality of the purpose is gauzed on some infernal parameter, expounded by the contractors of humanity on the pretext of some pseudo-transparent values. That was burning moderately, consistently and incessantly disseminating the mist in the milieu contaminating the surrounding life, aggravating the irk of the consumer and ironically delighting his desire. This is the nature of mind bolstered by the intelligence and hollowed by the wisdom, decapitating the reason and degenerating the self conscience which already had surrendered on the face of some ineluctable lies conceived of some idiosyncrasies and guided by it’s own will, the will to immolate, the will to get depleted, the will to merge in to infinity and eventually metamorphose in to cipher. I was searching for some nostrum, quid pro quo for my wounds which were dripping down from my body and were causing a bizarre stupefaction, unprecedented in experience and inevitable in nature, nature which is adamant, nature which is sublime, nature resurrecting and transcending the all boundaries of human reason and promulgating its own explanation for being inane.

The terrain of thousand thoughts flashed in my mind in a jiffy and I found my self caught in the quagmire, wrapped in the fabric of perfidy, soaked in the liquid of treachery though quite aware of the sanctity of my soul , I devised numerous ways to  get rid of it for sometime to feel myself debauched , enamored with sins and tempered with treason, nevertheless this flash of pondering which smoked in my conscious self, was transient enough to leave any trace in my mind ,I felt an ineffable urge to dethrone all the tenets hovering on my penumbra and decapitating my shadow attributing me of with some vicarious pain which I wanted to repudiate as I didn’t own it, I did not possess it not, by any means of mental affection or by any bondage of carnal intervention. I got a reprieve and this realized me of the fact that I was holding something between my fingers which has ceased to glow as if it were a rebellion and all set to strip me off from any kind of pleasure for that matter, however I knew this fact that ironically I loved that thing the most which I disliked the most and the more spite I wanted to accumulate for that, the more affinity was being beget out of this insignificant process of vacuous thinking which in turn crippled my mind and degenerated me in to a flesh only, devoid of any grey cell, deprived of reason, deserted by it’s own will and assassinated by some self-righteous conjecturing. This process of conjecturing did not seemed to end because if it had an end it would not have been an hypothetical cognitive drive, the drive to default the pleasure , the drive that brings pain and pleasure in equal amount severity.

The vibration of self annihilation started coming out of mind and I felt lifeless though alive, dejected though dignified, shattered though aggregated as if my will to feel were confiscated by something which I knew very well but I denied to recognize on the pretext of being self –righteous and this vacuum inside me devoured me like an ocean incommodes the tidal waves , stars get obscure in a constellation , none the less this status quo seemed to have delighted my sense , on the contrary I chose to be stoical as I did not want to feel anything except the fact that I am alive and this sensation came from the nether of my heart shouting and screaming, yearning fro some expiation, atoning fro some undone sins and expurgating all the impotent thoughts pushing them to the realm of murk and ignorance. This was something very bizarre which I could not figure out it came in part awe part contrition, awe because it was not cognizable to me and seemed out of the periphery of my understanding, contrition because I knew that I could have remedied myself to grasp this state of pestilence which was created by myself and in these kind of situation I felt an ridiculous happiness because I did not have any scapegoat to held responsible for my evil doings, I did not have something at my disposal , I did not have the carcasses of my fellow beings to raise on the echelons of pomposity and stentorian self praise. Spell bound by the nature of ignorance and scintillated by its capacities I gave the last effort to inhale the smoke and I felt as if I have inhaled the virtuous-sins which I wanted to own and the inexplicable  quarks disseminated in the miasmic air which could cause a mayhem if they were set free to roam outside my body.

Till now I have burnt my finger and I thought that some incrimination was going on somewhere, such was the nature of the senses which were reluctant to feel and such was the disloyalty of mind which has disowned my soul, beautiful enough was the gambit of destiny which brought me in to such a situation where I could not blame anybody because both, the body and my mind , were indivisible part of myself and I was helpless to show my retaliation to any of these insane entities as a matter of fact in both the cases I was destined to loose, however till now I have learnt to enjoy even in the state of being defeated , I have understood the chicanery of my nature which had halted my mind to react to any gesture of my body and that was the moment when I yarned for the self destruction , this willingness to sacrifice the self , this blazing desire to drown in the venomous quandary created by some aqueous  disorientation and disfiguring of the catastrophic mind.